What to Ask a Doula

Feeling overwhelmed by all the decisions for your upcoming birth? From the birth plan to the hospital bag, it can feel like a lot to manage. A doula can be an incredible source of support, but finding the right one is key to unlocking that feeling of confidence.

Think of a doula as a personal coach for your birth experience—not a medical provider, but an expert focused entirely on your physical and emotional comfort. Your first meeting isn't a formal interview or a test; it's a casual chat to see if you connect and feel understood. To help you feel prepared for that conversation, here are the essential questions to ask, covering everything from their philosophy and training to their fees and backup plan.

What Is a Doula's Role? (And How Is It Different From a Midwife?)

So, what does a birth doula actually do? The simplest way to understand the difference between a doula and a midwife is to see them as two different experts on your team. Your midwife or doctor is a medical professional responsible for the health of you and your baby. In contrast, a doula is a non-medical professional focused entirely on your comfort and well-being.

A doula provides three specific kinds of support. They offer physical support, like suggesting new labor positions or providing a comforting touch. They bring emotional support, offering a calm voice and encouragement when you feel overwhelmed. Finally, they give informational support, helping you understand your options and feel confident asking questions.

This support also extends to your partner or support person. A doula doesn’t replace anyone; they work alongside your loved ones, showing them how to help and ensuring the whole team feels prepared.

Questions About Their Philosophy and Training

Finding the right doula is a lot like dating—it’s all about the connection. To see if you “click,” start by understanding their personal approach to birth, or their “birth philosophy.” This reveals their passion, expertise, and what they believe is most important for a positive experience. These foundational questions help you understand their “why” and confirm they have the qualifications to make you feel secure.

• Why did you become a doula?
• Can you describe your philosophy on birth?
• What training or doula certification do you have?
• How do you see your doula's role during a C-section (planned or unplanned)?

Their answers will reveal what motivates them and, importantly, confirm they have the training to support you through any path your birth takes. Once you feel good about their overall approach, you can dig into the specifics of how they work.

Questions About Their Support and Logistics

Beyond their philosophy, you need to know how a doula will fit into your life practically. These questions clarify expectations around availability and communication style, ensuring your partnership will work smoothly. This is also the perfect time to explore how a doula supports the partner, assuring them they are a vital part of the team.

• When do you go "on-call" for me? (This is the period they commit to being available 24/7 for your birth.)
• What does your support for my partner look like?
• How do you prefer to communicate before labor (text, email, phone)?
• How many other clients do you take per month?

These answers give you a concrete picture of what to expect. Knowing how they involve your partner can be especially reassuring, as a great doula enhances teamwork. Inquiring about their client load helps you trust they’ll have the focus and energy for you. Once you’re clear on their support style, the next logical step is to discuss fees and backup plans.

Questions About Fees and Backup Plans

Finally, it’s time to talk about the investment. Discussing money upfront ensures there are no surprises and that everyone is on the same page. This part of the conversation is about understanding the value and security that come with their service, so be sure to review their contract and ask about their fees in detail:

• What is your fee and what exactly does it include (e.g., number of visits)?
• Can we see a copy of your contract?
• What is your backup plan if you are sick or at another birth?

A clear contract and a backup support plan aren't just formalities; they’re for your peace of mind. Knowing there is a trusted backup ready to step in means you can focus on your birth without ever having to worry, "What if?"

Questions for a Potential Postpartum Doula

Support doesn't stop when the baby arrives. While a birth doula focuses on your labor experience, a postpartum doula is there for the weeks after birth. Their main focus isn’t just on the baby—it's on you and your recovery. They are there to help you rest, heal, and adjust to your new life.

When interviewing a postpartum doula, your focus will shift from birth scenarios to home life and emotional well-being. To understand their approach, you might ask:

• What is your philosophy on supporting new parents?
• What specific tasks are you willing to help with around the home?
• How do you help parents navigate challenges like feeding or sleep deprivation?

Their answers will reveal if they are a good fit for your family, whether that means making you a warm meal, watching the baby so you can shower, or simply being a knowledgeable, non-judgmental friend during a time of huge transition.

After the Interviews: How to Choose the Right Doula For You

After the interviews, move beyond the specific questions and listen for the answers that truly connect with you. Picture who you want on your team when it matters most.

As you consider how to choose a doula, let your intuition be your primary guide. Who made you feel the most seen, heard, and at ease? Once you have that feeling, take one final, confidence-building step: ask for references to confirm what your gut is already telling you.

Finding the right doula isn’t about a perfect checklist. It’s about building the support system that makes you feel capable and calm. This process is about building confidence for the journey ahead.